Posted August 8th, 2009 by Paudie
Today is my Grandad Jim’s first anniversary, so a post to honor him.
My over-riding memory of him is the smoking, for years it was a pipe and then eventually ridiculously smelly cigarettes.
When I was very young I never really liked going to his house at all, probably because it meant I wouldn’t be out playing. But then there was Fanore.
Grandad had a caravan in Fanore for a long time and we would go up a few times every summer. Having a caravan ourselves this was nothing too special, but Fanore has a wild feel about it. It’s not built up like Lahinch. The caravans are spread seemingly at random throughout some grassy hills and sand dunes, some of which were easily the biggest things I had seen in my life. I guess this is where I got my cliff jumping bug, leaping from the tops of the dunes you could clear at least 15 feet before you hit the sand and rolled away laugh/choking on the sand in your face is a hell of a lot of fun when you’re under ten (or any age for that matter).
There was a big stream/small river running down beside the caravan that would swell with the rain and gave us hours of fun and I’m pretty sure I was the first person ever to explore the whole thing.
There were the dogs as well, Girlie and another that has been pushed from my mind by pointless phone numbers that my mobile remembers for me anyway. The dogs would always tear off chasing the crazy amount of rabbits that used to race around the caravan park.
Grandad had been a ship builder which, I used to tell everyone, was the best type of carpenter you could be. Knowing this has definitely given me part of my love of building things, even if my greatest achievement so far is a flat pack kitchen unit from Ikea, I will progress I tell you.
I suppose I was always a little in awe of him (when I wasn’t coughing and wiping my nose). He was a big guy, hands like shovels type of guy. But they weren’t big lumps and neither was he; his hands had helped craft all sorts of boats, and his mind was sharp right until the end.
I was visiting him in hospital a few weeks before he died and was doing my usual quick explanation of what I was studying for my PhD. Now most people tend to zone out when I start talking about what I do, or else listen carefully then change the subject straight away. But Grandad listened carefully then asked a completely relevant question. For an old man lying in a hospital bed with no training or interaction with modern electronics I was amazed, and really very happy that I was related to this man.
Grandad came out to our house for a lot of Christmas dinners, and every year without fail I would break my moms heart by walking out of the room whenever the fags came out. I don’t regret walking out, but I think I understand why mom would let him smoke, instead of kicking him outside the door like I wanted to.
I was at another funeral recently and I got to thinking about life and death, knowing it was close to Grandads anniversary he was the person mostly occupying my mind. I’m not in anyway spiritual and I don’t think a person has any type of soul that lives on. But they do live on with us. If we’re away from people all we have is memories of them anyway, so, to me, dying isn’t really that different. This person makes an impact on us to such an extent that we’ll never forget those memories.
And while the next generation may not have those memories to carry on, the influence of that person upon us will definitely be passed on to others.
Because of the whole not believing in heaven thing, I regularly get worked up thinking about purpose and meaning to life. I will accept that we have no over-arching purpose being here, but we damn well should make a purpose for ourselves. Einstein said something about a life is only worthwhile if the person has added something to society, this is what I try to live by and I got a little sad thinking that Grandad had devoted most of his life to working on boats that were quickly outdated and replaced. He was together enough to learn how to use a computer and write a book, but it’s a small book and one that is unlikely to be read by many.
But then I realised that Grandad had greatly influenced all of his children and definitely had some influence on his grandchildren. So like I said above he has definitely contributed something brilliant and that will never die.